All this things up to now

Up to this point it took me a while to really sort out what direction I needed to take in my life. I always wavered along the same lines but never really committed to anything as I was so passionate about quite a few things, self education, solitude, writing, reading, knitting, and a few other things that I didn't share. It took me a while and the gentle nudging from some kind souls to realize that I needed to commit to the lifestyle I really wanted instead of watching my life just tick by hour by hour.

I realized that I wanted to live an intentional life, that I wanted to focus on slow living. That I needed to focus on the people I love and the things I love. I also needed to focus on my health, both mental and physical. So I took steps to start working towards a career change. I had to be serious with myself, I knew I would never return to college to get a degree in English literature because I never did well in college being around other people. So I began to follow a different path. Always having an interest in herbalism and natural healing I have enrolled myself in an introductory course to herbalism and if all goes well I will hopefully complete the entirely of the course in the next 4-5 years and hope to get myself certified by the American herbalist guild. During that period I am also considering taking on coursework to become a massage therapist and study reflexology as well. I was inspired by a loving soul in my life to consider when completed opening up a natural healing clinic of sorts. I was so grateful for this persons inspiration and confidence in me.

I see the colors my life is now taking on and the direction that I am supposed to go. I finally understand my path, there is no rush, no being forced, no real fear anymore. There is only a strong sense of purpose and knowing that I'm happy in my decisions.

So here is where I attempt another path.

Most of my blogs have wavered back and forth, yet have always touched upon the same themes.  I did some very deep thinking during what little free time I had at work the last few days.  I had been feeling a complete sense of loss and feeling as if I had no real path for me to be on. I kept asking for a sign, for a signal or for someone to show me that I am on the right path.  It took me a significant amount of thought and a quote from Neil Gaiman that made me realize what I needed to really do.

If I was really to focus on what I was passionate about I would write about 4 things and I realized those four things are what I need to focus on.  So from this point on this blog is going to  change.   I feel like this blog as gone in so many directions yet all those directions are leading to the same place.  So here is what the content from this point on:

1) I will write about the books I read. I'm not great at reviewing books but I will talk about the books I read, why I love them and why they stand out to me. I probably will also share those quotes that stood out to me.

2) Modern Hobbit Living.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings and second breakfasts. I am a firm believer that there has to be a way to make what I call "hobbit living" modern and accessible.

3) Knitting, I love to knit. I'm not a person who can design patterns or anything like that, but I come across some very awesome patterns online. So i will post about amazing patterns I find and how I am progressing  on my attempts at them.

4) Herbalism. I have always been interested in herbalism as well as natural healing.  I have signed up for herbalism course and so I will write about my adventures and what I learn in my studies.

Do I intend to keep this as the intellectual hermitage? Yes because this is still my virtual hermitage, it is still a place where I intend to share my solitude, my practices and my intellectual passions.  I hope that you continue to follow this journey with me.

Even now in this silence in my mind

I need a sign, I need a signal...a path ...something to lead me back to the person I was. Something to lead me back to the quietness I used to have in my soul.  I need something or someone to remind me who I am, to bring me back to what was and is important to me. Someone or something that will not judge but will only hold my hand and remind me that with each step I can return to myself.