When one starts to grow disenchanted with their day to day life, the quotidianiness of work and social interaction can start to drain an individual who already struggles with a type of antipathy towards societal interaction. I found that in these last few months I have grown jaded and disillusioned with the shape my life had taken. I had somehow veered away from the path that used to bring me so much joy. I used to be extremely focused on cultivating a rich interior life and focusing on becoming a polymath, somewhere over the years I found myself deviating from a path that brought me happiness.
I think I partially pulled away from it because I had received discouragement from that behavior because I was reminded regularly that it was antisocial and isolating. Our society seems to thrive on the ideology that one must socially interact at much as possible, be it face to face or via social media. As an introvert this was never something I was extremely comfortable with, I find it draining and very difficult to be around people for lengthy periods of time. Due to this I was resolved in the past to cultivate a rich interior life where I could withdraw inside of myself so that I could withstand the anxiety and discomfort that social interaction seemed to cause. Recently I had an epiphany that caused me to realize how far I had strayed from the course that had brought me the most comfort and happiness. This epiphany was aided by my readings of Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, as well as Montaigne. I ultimately came to understand that if I truly wish to find happiness that I must return to the path of the polymath, working to become a renaissance man in my own right. Only by fostering the growth of a rich intellectual and interior life do I believe I can find the most happiness
The only thing that I seem to find wanting is an intellectual counterpart, someone who could help me keep the inertia along this path I am setting out on again. I find that the prospect –the probability of finding a individual who could inspire me just as I would love to inspire them along the path of cultivating the traits of a true renaissance man. To be honest hear though I must confess an insecurity of mine as I move along this train of thought.... but it is also a more in depth confession than I fear I have even divulged here....
I identify myself as agender/transgender (I am still trying to decide how to go about transitioning) and asexual...I fear that I because I do not always present as male ( my dominant leaning) that I am not taken as seriously when it comes to training to become a renaissance man. It is presented in society as a domain reserved for those born male. I concede that there are probably a great many female polymaths but it is not always something as well spoken of as it is in the case of males....digressing...... Please understand that this reason alone is not why I identify as transgendered,….....continuing..... I admit that this may sound completely ignorant and irrational but this is indeed a fear that is always carried in the back of my mind and serves at times as a obstacle that prevents me for following through with my pursuit. I hoped that maybe if I could find a counterpart that they would be able to help derail this train of thought that seems to plague me and hinder my progress. ….
As I move forward I will be migrating this blog over to a new location. When the new blog is launched it will be fully announced hear and there I hope to fully elaborate on my plan … Cultivation of the Renaissance Man.