When one starts to grow disenchanted
with their day to day life, the quotidianiness of work and social
interaction can start to drain an individual who already struggles
with a type of antipathy towards societal interaction. I found that
in these last few months I have grown jaded and disillusioned with
the shape my life had taken. I had somehow veered away from the path
that used to bring me so much joy. I used to be extremely focused on
cultivating a rich interior life and focusing on becoming a polymath,
somewhere over the years I found myself deviating from a path that
brought me happiness.
I think I partially pulled away from it
because I had received discouragement from that behavior because I
was reminded regularly that it was antisocial and isolating. Our
society seems to thrive on the ideology that one must socially
interact at much as possible, be it face to face or via social media.
As an introvert this was never something I was extremely comfortable
with, I find it draining and very difficult to be around people for
lengthy periods of time. Due to this I was resolved in the past to
cultivate a rich interior life where I could withdraw inside of
myself so that I could withstand the anxiety and discomfort that
social interaction seemed to cause. Recently I had an epiphany that
caused me to realize how far I had strayed from the course that had
brought me the most comfort and happiness. This epiphany was aided
by my readings of Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, as well as Montaigne. I
ultimately came to understand that if I truly wish to find happiness
that I must return to the path of the polymath, working to become a
renaissance man in my own right. Only by fostering the growth of a
rich intellectual and interior life do I believe I can find the most
happiness
The only thing that I seem to find
wanting is an intellectual counterpart, someone who could help me
keep the inertia along this path I am setting out on again. I find
that the prospect –the probability of finding a individual who
could inspire me just as I would love to inspire them along the path
of cultivating the traits of a true renaissance man. To be honest
hear though I must confess an insecurity of mine as I move along this
train of thought.... but it is also a more in depth confession than I
fear I have even divulged here....
I identify myself as
agender/transgender (I am still trying to decide how to go about
transitioning) and asexual...I fear that I because I do not always
present as male ( my dominant leaning) that I am not taken as
seriously when it comes to training to become a renaissance man. It
is presented in society as a domain reserved for those born male. I
concede that there are probably a great many female polymaths but it
is not always something as well spoken of as it is in the case of
males....digressing...... Please understand that this reason alone is
not why I identify as transgendered,….....continuing..... I admit
that this may sound completely ignorant and irrational but this is
indeed a fear that is always carried in the back of my mind and
serves at times as a obstacle that prevents me for following through
with my pursuit. I hoped that maybe if I could find a counterpart
that they would be able to help derail this train of thought that
seems to plague me and hinder my progress. ….
As I move forward I will be migrating
this blog over to a new location. When the new blog is launched it
will be fully announced hear and there I hope to fully elaborate on
my plan … Cultivation of the Renaissance Man.
